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Funny Massage

A True Halloween Story

This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds Like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, its true.
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road Hitch hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door, only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn’t on!!
The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had. A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying and….wasn’t drunk.
Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath.
Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other. “Look Paddy…..there’s that idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!!!!”

Priestly Joke

The priest in a small Irish village loved his chickens that he kept in
the coop behind the church. One Sunday morning before mass, he went to
feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about
the cock fights in the village, so he decided to question his
parishioners in church.

During mass, he asked his congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"

All the men stood up.

"No, no, that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"

All the women stood up.

"No, no, that wasn't what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that
doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women stood up!

"No, no, no, that wasn't what I meant. What I really really mean is, has
anybody seen MY cock?"

Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.